LK
Cougar. I honestly don't know how I feel about this term. I will say I prefer it over its dreaded cousin "MILF". Regardless, there seems to be so many different descriptions as varied as the people who provide them. But alright let's play along. I'm 41 and single and therefore a "Cougar".
 
Now enter an article titled "16 Ways to Spot a Cougar". After reading this article I was relatively speechless and offended. Now I decided to look past the author's obvious contempt for women, especially women over 40, and address why he (and men like him or taking his advice) are complete idiots.

So after you read past him trying to sound like an "expert" and somewhat educated, even the "pat on the back" he gives himself by "doing research" and copulating with a cougar or two (yawn, shake head and roll eyes here) so we can all be assured of his prowess and thorough methodology, begins his assessment of us poor, wretched cougars and our "hamster souls".

Let's run down the list.

1. Elevated Masculine Mannerisms And Features

"The hormonal changes that women undergo as they get older tends to diminish their (already tenuous) femininity as Western women. Their faces take on a more hard-bitten, harsh appearance, and it is not uncommon for facial hair to increase significantly. Estrogen levels seem to go down, voices deepen, and a constant exposure to feminist propaganda whittles away at whatever may be left of their feminine core. Sexual dimorphism in behavior seems to fade as cougarism blossoms."

*** According to this "Cougar Expert", we go through changes that make our appearance harsh, our estrogen levels lower, we get more facial hair and " a constant exposure to feminist propaganda whittles away at whatever may be left of their feminine core"...Really? So we become ugly, hairy, manly, and mentally weak. Ok...so why are you trying to sleep with us? And where does this happen? I look at the women on The Cougar Club website and I'm just not seeing it. Hell I look in the mirror and I don't see this phenomena taking place.

2. Fixation On Younger Women's Clothing Styles

"In an attempt to recapture her lost party-girl, carousel-riding youth, the cougar will become more and more shameless in wearing clothing designed for girls 20 years younger. Favorites here are leopard-spot and tiger-stripe patterns, short skirts, skin-tight jeans, and low cut blouses designed to show off an ample, silicone-enhanced cleavage."

 *** Hilarious. I have 2 schools of thought here. One is no matter what age you are, wear what you like and what's flattering. I'm a size 2, I have news for you I'm wearing Guess Jeans, I like them and they fit well...Deal. The other is most of us women aren't trying to recapture our youth. We like designers, we like fashion. And in my 20's I couldn't afford Dolce, Chanel, YSL, but I can now! HA! If you got it flaunt it - store bought or not...no matter what your age is!

3. Constant Talk About Work

"Admittedly, the modern cougar works hard. Not for her are the languid, relaxed days of lounging around the house. She usually has brood to provide for, and her own upkeep is hardly inexpensive. Unless she has hit the jackpot by shaking down her ex-husband in divorce court, expect the cougar to work well into her elder years. She takes her work seriously. The down side of this, unfortunately, is that you never stop hearing about it. Besides her work and her kids, the cougar cares for little else. And you will hear about both. Constantly. I have found this one of the oddest cougar traits: so mature in many respects, but so childish and juvenile when it comes to trying to make intelligent conversation with men. Some things women just never outgrow. Ah, humanity."

***Now in dating and relationships the questions " what do you do for work?" and "how was work?" seem like typical and normal questions to me. I have a formal career and education, like most women my age, so yes I work hard and a great deal. But my career doesn't define me, it's a part of who I am, not all of it. I really love the part about shaking an ex-husband down, because you know, that's what we're all out for!! Of course we take our work seriously... we didn't spend years in college and building our careers to NOT take our work seriously! In my group of cougar friends we are all doctors, lawyers, reporters, scientists etc.

And well, of course we are all childish and juvenile when it comes to intelligent conversation. We're women, we can't have a thought without you giving it to us, after all it's a scary world out of the kitchen, in shoes and not pregnant! Help, help! I need an adult!!

4. Constant Blather About Her Ex-Husband, Kids, Or Party-Girl Years

"The cougar will initially feign interest in her younger male target, flattering him with attention. But after coitus has been consummated, the hapless youngster will find himself enmeshed in a constant stream of mind-numbing jibberish about how bad her ex-spouse is, how great her kids are, and how she wistfully longs for her lost party-girl (i.e., carousel) years."

***LOL!! FYI...it will take a LOT more for most cougars to "consummate coitus." As well, my ex, my son and my past are absolutely none of anyone's business. I chat about these things with my girlfriends, not men I date. And if a man asks, he gets the vague simple answer. Trust me, most of us aren't dwelling in the past, we're having fun in the present and building a future.

5. Credit or Debt Problems

"Years of hard living and big spending have usually put your top-tier cougar into credit and debt problems. Of course, it's always someone else's fault, but be aware that lurking in her background is a financial house of cards, ever ready to collapse. Hold onto your wallet."

*** I know my first thought when considering dating a younger man is "Oh lord I hope he pays my bills"!! I will admit money is a factor for most of us...and that is ANY age, however at 41 I've worked hard for my life and the things I have. And a man should be doing the same! I can pay my bills, and my cougar friends...we can support ourselves perfectly fine. I believe a man should be a man and be able to take me to dinner, etc. And I'm not supporting some lazy idiot so yes...income is a factor. I said it. I've raised one child, I'm not raising another.

6. Willingness To Raw Dog

"Cougars love raw dogging. After a hysterectomy or the passing of her child-bearing years, the average cougar feels that she has little to fear from unwanted pregnancies. Her innate fatalism removes whatever other hesitations she may have from high-risk behavior. Expect to be encouraged to take the plunge. We here at ROK, of course, always advise safety first."

*** WTF...Yeah we relish the thought of catching your 20 something STD's - half of which I've never even heard of. That and your sexual inexperience combined is such a turn on. As far as unwanted pregnancies, I'm pretty sure owning the equipment as long as we have, we know how to take responsibility for our family planning. I love the "women are the root of all evil" theme here, hasn't that been done to death already?

 7. Preferences For Dogs As Pets

"A true cougar is a dog person, not a cat person. Cougars love to bask in the unbounded energy of a hound hurling himself about the house, tongue lolling about, ever subservient to her demands. Accomplished attention seekers, cougars know that taking their dogs in public is also one of the best ways to attract the limelight."

*** Ok this may be somewhat true. I have a German bred German shepherd who is professionally trained in protection. His name is Ares, after the God of War. I encourage the author of the article to stop by unannounced sometime; he'd LOVE to meet you.

8. Kids In The Background...And When She's Ready, In The Foreground

"A cougar knows that her younger male prey is innately repelled by the sight of another man's spawn. So, in the beginning of the seduction, she will keep her kid(s) safely hidden away so as not to scare off her younger male target. But, eventually however, her desire to take power in the relationship will get the better of her. She will feel a compulsion to test the waters. The kid will slowly be edged into the picture...ever so subtly, and ever so gradually. This is the big moment of truth. The expert cougar hunter will not flinch at this critical juncture. He will refuse to have anything to do whatsoever with another man's children, including being in the same room with them. Not your brood, not your problem. The irony here—always lost on females—is that they themselves would never want to be involved with a single man with his own children. Yet they expect a single man to tolerate the sight of her own offspring."

*** Again, the author proves my assessment right. First of all, I have a child. He's almost 19 and is getting ready to head to boot camp for the USMC. I'm not keen on him meeting anyone I'm dating. If it's a serious relationship it may be considered – at some point. My cougar friends who have children certainly feel the same way I do. We don't need you to "play daddy" nor do we want you to. Our kids are our damn business. And again that's any age...my advice to all women is to not involve men your dating with your kids. If it's serious relationship, consider it long and hard first. NOW, females not wanting to be involved with men with children? That's possible. Why? Because men usually have baby mama drama. Simple. And yes, I SAID IT. Again I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings but anyone with drama with kids and ex's should be avoided...however this idiot is fixated on cougars and to me, this is something that applies to all ages.

9. Pseudo-Intellectual Blather

"Our standard-issue cougar has spent many an hour poring over the dreary tomes found in your local Barnes & Noble, and she wants to show it. Expect to be lectured on P/E ratios, modes of alienation, the Arab Spring, and other vapid topics du jour."

***Heaven forbid we read and do things to better ourselves!! My cougar friends and I however, prefer current affairs, politics, and publications affecting our careers. We just can't win. (or be right, or educated, or attractive...again why is he trying to sleep with cougars?).

10. Sexual Forwardness

"This goes without saying. Deployment of some reticent "beta bait" game will work wonders. Believe me."

*** We are hot and we are good. This is fact. However this is the big leagues boys...following this moron's advice will get you NOWHERE real fast. We don't need you...if you're lucky we may want you. Big difference.

11. Silicone

"I know it when I see it. And I happen to like it."

*** In case you forgot why the author is a idiot.

12. Crazy Ex-Husband Stories

"To justify her solo existence, the cougar has developed a sophisticated rationalization mechanism, which has calcified into certitude with the passage of time. You will hear stories about how the former spouse threatened her, verbally abused her, and made her strike out on her own against her will. Every life decision is the fault of someone else, of course."

*** I don't need to justify my solo existence. It's a choice. I'd rather be alone than wasting my time with an idiot. The author needs to realize alone isn't lonely. There is a difference. Again...this is something we may discuss with our girlfriends, not someone we date. I do like the assumption that as a single cougar you must be alone because no one wants you. HA! And again, what is with the crap that we have all these horror stories? And if there are...why would we be sharing them with a guy? This is a cougar trait? Wow...again he must know more than I do. I'm pretty sure he hates women in general...this sounds more like a young girl thing to me...drama.

13. Intense, Predatory Gazes

"When a cougar locks her gaze on you, there will be no mistaking her intentions. The cougar has no time for the giddy dilly-dallying of the clueless younger woman. But be warned...there are other, more sophisticated games brewing in the background."

*** Perhaps...however this is a negative, why? We aren't playing games with you. Most men I know would welcome that over the incessant coddling and reassurance a 20-something needs.

14. Insipid Mishmash Of Religious Or Spiritual Ideas

"Cougars are always into self-actualized "spiritualism" or other vague religious cant, which has the advantage of making no demands on them. At the same time, it enables them to adopt the posture of the deep, introspective woman of the world. You will be expected to buy into her religious ideas, or at least pretend to listen to them, whatever they may be. Yawn."

*** I love the cougar generalization here..."always into self actualized "spiritualism" or other vague religious cant". What?? Yep. Now we are all trying to convert you to the Coven that is Cougars. Like a vampire colony - beware young men; we need your blood (and wallets apparently) to stay young and sexually promiscuous, with no protection of course. And have you raise our children.

15. Excessive Use Of Cosmetics

"Expect to see some skillfully placed make up that conceals the ravages of time, a lifetime of hard partying, and excessive exposure to sun. The higher the income of the cougar, the better the overall results. She's high maintenance, and is proud of it."

***LOL...What is this makeup and where do I get it? If it does all that...wow I need to invest. I'll make a killing. My cougar friends and I have learned diet, fitness and NOT overusing cosmetics keeps you looking young. We are high maintenance...and we can be, it's our money!! I love the constant hard-partying reference. With all the crap he's listed including our careers and families, who has time for all the partying and vacationing in the sun?

16. Vague Contempt For Feminist Bullshit

"Having been around the block, the typical cougar has no use for feminist talking points. She may mouth the creed, but there is no belief behind it. The harsh realities of life have stripped away the false illusions of feminism, and replaced them with a ruthless practicality. Her hamster, of course, still operates as it always does, but it services her personal needs, not the false ideologies of deluded younger women."

***I don't know. Lets look at the reality. We went to the same college as men, same classes, better grades, and graduated top of our class. Go to work for the same employer doing the same job and we will be paid .77 to your dollar. This is FACT. Men will continuously try and make decisions about our rights as women, our bodies and what we should and shouldn't be allowed to do with them. So yes...at 41, I know the reality of being a woman and having to work twice as hard. But what really annoys men is that us cougars don't swoon and fall all over you for the same tricks that make the co-eds get all giggly and put out. We know your game and we are unimpressed. I told you boys, this is the big leagues. Go big or go home. And you can put that in your Big Cat Diary...Just remember if you're going to bark at the big cat, you're going to get to feel the bite ;)

Final Thoughts

"So there it is. I must confess, chevalier that I am, a measure of sympathy for the plight of the modern cougar. Cut adrift from her traditional feminine moorings, drifting here and there in the harsh realities of a society that promised her so much and delivered so little, she haplessly tries to make her way in the world. And what a nightmare it turned out to be. So let us be tender, and let us be gentle.

As I look into those cougar eyes, and peer through those windows of the soul, what do I see? I detect, perhaps, the vague glimmerings of a sadness at the cruel passage of time, and at the mournful brevity of life's pageant."

*** No really ...here it is. Please take your sympathy and shove it. What is sad is the fact that this is something that was a written article on a website. And it's sad that men like the author exist.

Women come in all shapes, sizes, ages, colors, religions, etc. but the end fact is women are amazing, beautiful creatures. I am so blessed to know so many gorgeous women with great hearts and personality. And I will defend them from losers like this man, who I would be fairly certain wrote this from his computer in his parents basement. He hates women, probably because any woman with a shred of intelligence sees through his crap. So he preys on young girls who may be impressed that he spends money on them.

The most ridiculous part of the publication are the comments. It made me sad to read men bash women who read their game basically. I did however find amusement in the bragging about the hot 23-year-old girlfriends these older men parade around...yeah that's love, 'til the credit card is maxed. You stud you...takes a lot to get a mail order bride. The best part of that is women like me Americanize them and they divorce your dumb ass. And yes my Cougar lawyer friends will help them get half. See, we know the more a man brags about it, the more he's full of it he is. Why? I will explain with a joke that has a great deal of truth..."Why can't women park between the lines? Because they're constantly lied to about what 8 inches is." Yeah we see through your braggart crap.

I love the Cougar Club website. "Our mission is to spread the word that a Cougar is a beautiful, intelligent, classy older woman who men of all ages find attractive" Brilliant! And they do - the Admins are fabulous too. Ladies...I bid you adieu with much love and respect. I'm always around for you!

LK Richards

Comments   

#3 ibo 2014-08-27 14:57
I am sexy
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#2 Juan 2014-01-06 13:02
Bravo, there is nothing more attractive than a woman who knows how to express herself!! Congrats to your son, I did 6yrs in the Navy, its an honor to serve.
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#1 jack 2014-01-06 12:32
Your very pretty
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