I honestly never thought that I would ever date an older woman.
Thanks to my young looks I only approached women who were younger than me. When I was 20 I dated girls who were 18 and until I was 23 I hadn't slept with a woman who was older than that.
I can't deny that I was attracted to the young girls that I had sexual or even romantic relationships with, but the true reason why I never ended up dating an older woman had nothing to do with my sexual preferences.
I was scared to approach older women and to get rejected by them. I always looked young for my age and I was convinced that the last thing an experienced woman wanted was a young guy with a pretty-boy face. I can't deny that I fantasized about sleeping with a cougar. I just didn't have the courage to approach them.
This changed when my boss hired a new marketing manager. She was about 15 years older than me and incredibly beautiful. Whenever we had a meeting, I had to stop myself from staring at her and whenever she talked to me,
my heart started beating really fast.
The idea of kissing her, of touching her and of sleeping with her haunted me in my dreams. Never in a million years did I think that she felt the same. Well, I didn't believe it until she invited me to her place, which was the beginning of a short but wonderful romance.
The time I spent with her was not only enriching, it also taught me a lot about myself and my attitude towards women. Please allow me to share the seven things I learned from dating a cougar in my early twenties.
1. I am Not Too Young
The first thing that I learned from dating a cougar is that I am not too young to date older women. This realization gave me such a strong self-confidence boost that I couldn't stop smiling for two weeks.
I always thought that no woman who was even slightly older than me would ever be attracted to a young-looking fella like me. What I realized during the time I dated a cougar was that your inner maturity is way more important than the way you look.
Older women know what they want and the last thing they want is to date a guy who acts like a little boy. However, that doesn't mean that the guy they are dating can't be significantly younger. As long as you are mature and have a great personality, it doesn't matter if you look 20 or 30.
2. Older Women Can Be Extremely Attractive
I have to be honest with you. The first time I undressed my colleague I was afraid. I was afraid that I wasn't attracted to her body.
Why did I have those fears?
Well, we are conditioned by the advertising industry, movies and songs that only young women are attractive. We live in a society that regards youth as beautiful and aging as something that should be avoided at all costs.
The moment I undressed this incredibly beautiful woman, I realized that older women can be very attractive. In fact, she was not only the oldest, but also one of the most beautiful women I have ever slept with.
3. The Sex is Amazing
Older women have a lot of experience in the bedroom and they know what they want. While young girls usually don't know what they want and don't have the courage to communicate their desires, older women let you know what they like and what they don't like.
They have enough experience to not be ashamed about their desires and fantasies. When I dated my colleague I had the feeling that she was the first woman I ever met who was 100% confident with her own sexuality. This confidence made me even more addicted to her.
4. You Can Learn a Lot from Experienced Women
Yes, older women can definitely teach you one or two things in the bedroom, but that doesn't mean that they can't teach you anything in other areas of life.
During our conversations my colleague told me about her past relationships, about her marriage that ended in a rough divorce and about how all those experiences made her the person she is today. She taught me a lot about relationship dynamics, self-discovery and the best ways to deal with the inevitable process of aging.
Talking to her was not only an enriching experience, but it also taught me a lot about mastering life.
5. You Can Have Fun without Playing Games
I was a young guy in my mid-twenties and she was an experienced woman in her early forties. We both knew that our intense and extremely fulfilling romance wouldn't last forever. All we wanted was to enjoy the time it lasted. What I learned from this experience was that you can have fun without playing games.
When I dated young girls I always had the feeling that they played games with me. Some of them pretended to not want a relationship on day one and asked me if I am their boyfriend on day two. Others told me that they hated to play games, while they constantly tried to make me jealous. It was tiring.
I didn't have this hassle when I dated an older woman. She was honest with me, I was honest with her and we simply enjoyed the time we spent together. It was so uncomplicated and I loved it.
6. The Stereotypes are Not True
First they said that she probably just needs a young man who makes her forget that she is aging. After I tried to convince them that she was confident about her age and that she didn't use me as a way to ignore the fact that she was getting older, they asked me how much she pays me and if I really need a sugar mama.
Let's face the truth. The stereotypes that surround cougars who are dating younger men are anything but nice. However, just because most people have those stereotypes, doesn't mean that they are true.
She never bought anything for me and she was more comfortable with aging than most girls in their twenties. The stereotypes are simply not true.
7. A Lot of Men Know Nothing about Women
I already told you that we talked a lot and that I learned quite a few things during our conversations. As the conversations got deeper she revealed more and more about her past relationships and about her attitude towards men. She also revealed a lot of very personal stories about her friends who all had similar experiences.
They met a guy, they got married and then they ended up being disappointed, because the fairytale turned into a nightmare.
The fascinating thing that I learned from all those conversations was that a lot of men know absolutely nothing about women. They make the same mistakes over and over again. They don't listen, they don't make an effort and in many cases they just don't care.
I honestly want to thank her for showing me what women really want and for making me a better man.