married cougar

  • Dating a Married Cougar


    Hey Lucia,

    Your outlook and "tell like it is" responses are always so insightful, thank you.  I am a young 29 year old "cub."  I have always been attracted to women older than myself.  They provide an abundance of knowledge, sophistication and assertiveness; all qualities that I find make a woman sexy.

    I recently met a woman who is 39, all of the above and then some.  We work out together, have a lot in common, laugh and never get tired of each other.  We are not intimate and do not go on dates due to her current situation.  Problem is she is separated from her husband, not divorced and has a child.  I respect their family, situation/relationship and that's why I'm just going with the flow.  I'm enjoying the company for what it is and not pressing any sort of progress at all.

    She enjoys my company as much as I do hers; it's a really easy flowing relationship.  We do not call each other, but do exchange emails on a regular basis and see each other a few times a week.  We are personal with each other in the sense that we are very open and share pretty much everything about ourselves.  I left the ball in her court as far as setting the pace goes.

    I guess what I'm getting at is I think she is the most wonderful women I have met in a long time.  While the timing is off, deep down inside of me there is hope for something a bit more than a friendship, somewhere down the line.  I've learned from past situations to not set myself up for failure and that's why I'm trying to be casual about it.   What do you think?  Any advice for this young cub?

    Hopeful in Houston


    Hi Hopeful,

    You’re on the right track, but instead of tryingto be casual, becasual.  There is nothing wrong with developing a friendship first and seeing if that leads to more once she is divorced.

    Of course, there is always a chance she may get back together with her husband, so you have to be prepared for that possibility.

    I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but I also suggest that you date other women, if you’re not already doing it.  This will help with not getting too focused on this woman who is currently not totally available.

    Other than that, continue to go with the flow and see where it goes.  Good luck!

    Cougar Club:  What's your advice for "Hopeful"?

  • Happy Birthday to Claudia Maria!

    Happy Birthday to Claudia Maria from Toronto, Canada who turns 46 today!
    Find Claudia Maria on Facebook.