Happy birthday to Claudette from Philadelphia, PA who turns 43 today!

Find her on Instagram: @MissClaudetteMonroe

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When you’re talking to cougars online, it helps to tell if they’re actually interested. Whether you’ve met her in a bar or on one of the leading cougar dating sites, knowing when she’s interested is the first battle. There’s a difference between simply being friendly and actually wanting to meet and pursue things further.

If you’re needing a little help in this department, read on. I’ve put together a list of 7 ways older women show younger men they are interested online. Whether you’re talking via email, dating sites or social media, you can use these tips to read between the lines.


The ways cougars show they’re interested online depends on what she’s looking for

Cougars really do know what they want, more often than not. It might be a fun fling to spice up their routine. It could even be a serious relationship. Or, it could just be a one-off night (and morning) of hot fun.

What a woman wants will determine how she goes about getting it and the dating world is no exception. Not only can you determine if an older woman in interested in you, you can figure out what she’s interested in. The signs aren’t as hard to read as you may think.


She’ll be direct about her interest in you

This is the most straightforward and clear sign on this list. If an older woman is interested in you, even if you are completely different races and ages, she’s likely to simply tell you or show you. This could mean that she’s the first person to open the conversation, not waiting for you to make the first move. It could come in the form of her simply telling you that she likes the look of you and wants to take it forward.

Many older women have had relationships or flirtations where the guy has been cagey or unclear. Why would they want to bring that on themselves? It’s a time-wasting drag to be vague, so older women will come right out and say what they feel and mean. Luckily for you, the ways older women show younger men they are interested are often very clear.

In this case? Your job is done. You don’t need to guess or decipher her hints, just go for it and be as honest and open as she is.


She’ll be clear about her needs early on

This sign goes hand-in-hand with the previous one. Telling you she’s interested is often followed by telling you what she’s interested in.

I’ll repeat it again: cougars don’t want to waste their time. If she’s looking for a hot young guy to excite her and keep up with her sexual appetite, she’ll tell you. If she wants something deeper and wants to avoid players, she’ll tell you that too.

She might even be looking for something a little gentler and slower, perhaps without sex at all. This can be the case with older women who have been burned by love but still want to get back out there. Even so, showing her vulnerability is also a sign that she’s interested.

Your job is to be honest with yourself, and her, about whether or not it fits with what you want. If you want a friends-with-benefits situation and she wants love? Cut it clean and kindly move on.


She’ll show specific interest in your life

Don’t buy into the common myths about cougars. One of the ways older women show younger men they are interested is simply by asking questions. An older woman isn’t going to mess around getting to know someone who turns out to be unsuitable for her. To get an idea of your life and what you’re all about, she’ll ask. This one is especially true for online dating, as instant messaging is great for back-and-forth questioning.

If she’s asking questions about your past relationships, family, job and living situation . . . She’s interested, or getting there at least. Don’t make the mistake of thinking she’s nosy, prying or even uptight, she’s just trying to suss you out. And hey, it’s fair enough, not everyone wants to pursue a total stranger.

It may not mean that’s she’s totally keen and wants to jump into bed, but she’s considering the fact she might. A good thing to remember is this: interested people show interest. As obvious as that sounds, it’s often missed by those on the dating market. If she continues to ask about you and your life, chances are she finds you fascinating and is imagining meeting you in person.

Be obliging and honest. If she wants to know — Tell her! And don’t forget: Return the favor, ask about her too, so you don’t come across as self-centered. This doesn’t mean you need to bore her with work stories. You can let her know more about yourself in a fun and flirtatious way, which will likely pique her interest even more.

This rule applies to all ages and stages. In “real life” you would notice if a person was showing particular attention to you and asking about your life. You would get the feeling that they’re interested in you. Otherwise, why would they take the time to ask? The same goes for online platforms, so take the hint and go for it.

She’ll be playful and flirtatious

There are a lot of reasons older women are dating younger guys and many have to do with how much fun it can be. They don’t want to be mired in boring, unsexy conversation. By the time 40 rolls around, most people (men and women) have enough of life’s mundaneness going on. They’re not going to want another one added to the mix. By communicating with you over online platforms, older women can enjoy the excitement of your young and keen sexual energy whenever, wherever.

She may start with a compliment about your photo, to let you know she’s attracted to you physically. If you respond with an equally complimentary comment about her, she can take that as an invitation to go further.

In some cases, you may even find that she comes right out and says that she’s looking for the sexual excitement of a younger man. Many cougars have had their fair share of boring or sexless relationships with men their age who have lost the spark. Often, they want to feel sexy and desired again, and younger men tend to be the best at offering that.

Don’t be afraid to tell her how sexy you find her. If she gives you her all-clear consent, tell her your desire to be alone with her. Women respond to what they hear (and in the modern world, read), so sexy conversation can take you a long way. A long, long way.


She’ll reply promptly

Younger women tend to have a more self-conscious attitude toward dating. A young woman might avoid seeming “needy” or too keen and will leave her replies for later. Older women know that’s a completely unnecessary fear and there’s no need to waste time with being strategic.

If an older woman is interested in you, she’s sure as hell not going to waste her own time by waiting to reply. If you find that you can get a good back-and-forth conversation with her easily, she’s probably interested.

In the case that she can’t reply quickly, she’ll likely give you a reason why when she actually can. This is because she wants you to know that she’s invested in your conversation. If she’s not interested and couldn’t care less, she’ll either ignore you or respond later, with no excuse given.


She’ll message you during the day

Okay, this might sound like a strange one, but hear me out. Messaging potential love interests at night can be a last resort, or a drunken whim. We’ve all been there, receiving the late-night “where are you” text. Messages like these don’t really promise much substance in the other person’s intentions.

Cougars understand this. They’ve been around the block enough to know that after-dark messaging doesn’t pack as much of a punch as a text in the morning or afternoon. Why? Because it shows they’re thinking of you even as daily life moves around them. It’s easy to sit on the sofa at home, or at a bar at night with a glass of wine and message the easiest option.

But, sitting at work or doing chores and still thinking of that person? That’s interest. And older women aren’t afraid of sending such a clear sign.

What’s more, a message in the day can lead to more at night. She could be setting up the conversation to lead into the suggestion of a meet-up. So, respond ASAP and show her you’re interested.


She’ll let you in on her life . . . or not

If a woman is not interested at all, she won’t divulge any information other than the basics. You can expect one-word answers, or no answer at all if she’s just not keen. Whereas, if she likes you as a potential partner - she’ll want you to know more, so you have a chance to decide if she’s right for you too.

Older women don’t want to mess around with younger men who might be put off by their past or their current situation. If she’s divorced or has kids, she’ll want you to know, so you can run for the hills now rather than down the track.

She wants to know if you can handle her as she is. So the sooner you know, the better. This is mostly in cases where the woman is looking for more than sex. If she’s just after a romp in bed, then she may deliberately tell you that personal lives are off the cards. In such cases, she’ll want to keep the conversation fun and flirtatious, leaving daily routines out of it.

A good rule of thumb is to note what she’s telling you. Relationship history, kids and current situation? She’s interested in seeing you for more than sex.

Flirtatious, surface-level chat with lots of humor and fun? She’s likely to be more interested in fun and passion as opposed to a relationship.

Online dating and chatting brings up a whole new pile of tips and signs, it’s like learning a new language. Luckily, older woman are good at cutting to the chase and avoiding time-wasting games and tricks. The ways older women show younger men they are interested are usually quite obvious.

Don’t be alarmed or put-off if an older woman comes right out and says what she means, she knows what she wants. Just go with it and match her.

Happy birthday to Beth from Michigan who turns 54 today!

Find her on Instagram: @girlsinstilettos
Lauren (56) in Corpus Christi, TX

Find her on Instagram: @TexasVixen

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